There are many things we should leave home knowing. How to boil an egg, how to make a doctor appointment, how to write a check, just to name a few. There are also manners we should have been taught before leaving home and these are my top 5 with the most repeat offenders! Continue reading “Five Manners We Forgot to Learn”
It’s been a busy week in the news following a couple of shootings and many protests. I have seen many differences come to light on social media and the one common thread is two sides screaming “We don’t want this. Take it back. Make it better. This isn’t safe for our babies.” Continue reading “Dear Mama Afraid of the World”
This post is for all of the young (or not) adults who constantly eat out. We know it’s bad for us. We know it hurts our wallet and eats away at our paycheck, but some of us haven’t been taught how to meal plan or cook and are learning to adult while adulting. That’s okay! I’m here to show you how, and even tell you where in the grocery store to buy these items and how much they may cost. Continue reading “Stop Eating Out!”
Long gone are the days with a millions outfits to choose from. I feel like my steady decline from the trendy world has been a combination of having a baby recently and the need/desire to spend our hard earned dollars on something more practical. So here I am. On the verge of roaming the streets naked or bite the bullet and brave the store.
Maybe you’re like me and your teaching career has you home for the summer. Maybe you’re home full time and welcoming your kids home from the school year. Maybe you’re a busy working mother and soaking up your days off with the kids. We are approaching the end of June and I want to encourage you right now, in this moment. Keep working that budget. Keep loving on those kids. Continue reading “Dear Summer Mama’s- Keeping working that budget!”
By now (hopefully) your social media has gifted you little invitations to vacation bible schools around town. I worked VBS for several years and was always surprised by the questions that families asked as soon as they approached the registration table. I’m here to ease your fears. Continue reading “Can you take your kids to VBS if you don’t go to that church?”
Walmart now has a pick up service where you can order your groceries online and pick up without leaving your car. Is it all that it’s cracked up to be? And if it is, how do we use it?
When I started my blog a full six months ago I had big hopes and dreams that fizzled out within a few months as I experienced burn out. I’ve known many people who have started and abandoned blogs, even strangers whose blogs I love! I’ve come out on the other side with a better understanding of how I got here.
Self control seems to be one of those issues that touches almost every single person I know in some way. We may be over spending, maybe procrastinating and giving into laziness, overeating, addictions, intimacy outside of commitment, and the list could go on and on. Maybe you’re trying to discipline your kids into having self control too.
Self control for me is kind of split. There are issues for which I can display an exorbitant amount of self control. As a teenage single mother I white knuckled my way through school and full time work. I was a champion martyr with our meager budget. I have withstood years in job that was brutal with coworkers who hated me. I know I have some of that control in me.
But there are things for which I don’t have great (or any) self control. My desire to watch TV and relax despite the demands of housekeeping and maintaining a sleep schedule come to mind. The fact that I’ve been chubby my entire adult life comes to mind. My phone addiction should be lumped in there too. You may be saying to yourself, does this stuff even count? Is staying up late to finish a show really so bad?
What in the world is self control?
The elementary version of self control is this: doing the right thing even if you don’t feel like it. How many times a day are we missing the mark on that? I should have stuck with my prepacked healthy lunch instead of joining my coworkers for fast food. I should have put back that make up I didn’t really need and used that money towards savings or debt.
That’s a lot of different issues, can I take all of that on?
Self control touches so many areas of our lives from sex and relationships to finances to our physical health. I feel like so many times we get caught up in the tiny details of so many different things and that we need to understand that this is a heart issue. We can beat ourselves up about each area we are failing in or we can look at the root of the problem which is self control. I would argue that it’s better to take on this big problem and watch the ripple affect those problems we have.
How do we fix it?
Most of the time when I blog it’s because I’ve thought of something, tried it out, and loved it so much I felt comfortable sharing it with you. However, this is not the case today. Today I’m sitting here with my faults in front of me. I have an earnest desire to give myself the tools I need for self control. Most of the time I blog because I’ve been through it and want to help you but today I’m blogging because I want to walk through this with you.
Pray– Now before you say “Duh!” and skip this part of todays blog I want to tell you that this is crucial. There isn’t a person or a book or a therapist or anyone else in existence who knows your heart like God. He wants to help you. He’s waiting for you to invite him to do this. For specific prayers here’s an amazing list. I picked two favorites and printed them and suggest you do the same for encouragement.
Understand the Gravity– Believe it or not, your entire testimony in our faith hinges upon your self control. Not only is self control one fruit of the spirit, the bible says this
“BUT I DISCIPLINE MY BODY and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified,” 1 Corinthians 9:27
Disqualified. Let that sink in. I look at my life and how far I come and the word disqualified scares me. I want it to count.
Get to the Root– A lack of self control is the root of many, many problems. While we acknowledge that we are adults and responsible for our own actions, we can sometimes see how our upbringing and our lives have helped shape that problem. Maybe you come from a stern family that controlled everything so you never had to learn how to. Maybe you come from a passive or absent situation and didn’t have clear guidance on how to create good self control. Maybe you grew up without your needs met and took full advantage when you were an adult. Whatever the case, understanding this can help you move forward.
Make Firm Decisions and Timelines– Sometimes we make good decisions about areas of our life we’d like to improve upon but lack the discipline to start. Examples of this would be saying you’re going to start a diet but then saying “Well, I just bought those chips I love. Once those are out of the house then I’ll start.” Another example might be, “I know I’m responsible for tithing but I’ve got kids and other things going on. I’ll give back when I get the kids out of the house.” We have an incredible momentum when we begin. Don’t waste it! Be firm and take the leap.
You CAN Do It, HE Says So! – Have you ever seen someone going through something terrible and some well-meaning person says “Well, God will never give you more than you can handle.” This is a huge misquote. That verse is talking about temptation, not pain. No matter how little self-control you have or how big the temptation is, He PROMISES us in his word that there is an out. It will never be too much temptation for us to say no to.
Have any tips for others learning to achieve self-control as an adult? Share them with us in the comments below. Stick around to read this oped on adoption and biological parenting.
It’s a regular Sunday night. I’m packing my lunch, picking out my clothes for tomorrow, and even getting a little work done on my laptop. This is what I’m doing, but if it were up to me there wouldn’t be a need for any of it. Despite my strong desire to stay home with my babies, I’m still a working mom. Continue reading “When Staying Home Isn’t an Option”